Bittersweet Hilarity

By Fran Withrow 11.2020

The juxtaposition of “hilarious” and “depression” in “The Hilarious World of Depression” was so jarring to me I just had to read and find out more. And while author John Moe did have me laughing as he describes his lifelong battle with this illness, the bigger takeaway is how important it is for those struggling with depression to feel they can open up about their mental state and not be stigmatized for it.

Moe grew up the youngest of four in a family who came to the United States from Norway. His oldest brother, Rick, struggled with drugs and their father was an alcoholic. Moe faced down depressive symptoms even as a child, especially in junior high school (a time period in many people’s lives when they can get “ka-whomped” by depression, he says). Big surprise there.

What Moe discovers is that comedy can ease the pain of depression. (“Carol Burnett as Coping Mechanism” is the title of one chapter.) He discovers that making people laugh eases his symptoms, an insight he learns is common among comedians, who often battle this illness.

In and out of therapy, on and off medications, Moe traces the path of managing depression, finding a supportive spouse, becoming a father, and beginning the podcast bearing this book’s name. The podcast showcases comedians who share their own stories about managing depression: Margaret Cho, Andy Richter, Peter Sagal.  

Along the way Moe helps the reader understand what depression really is, why it is not something you can just “snap out of,” and how it affects a person’s thinking. He discusses the stigma attached to depression and suicide, and how this societally perceived shame prevents sufferers from seeking help.

Moe says a depressed person can misinterpret events, unintentionally adding to their suffering. Seeing someone with a disgusted look on their face, Moe says, will automatically cause the person who is depressed to think that person hates him, when in reality the person “ate some bad clams.”

Moe also acknowledges that as terrible as depression is for him, he fully understands that the privileges he experiences as a straight white male make it a little easier. For those who are anything else, he says, opening up can feel “like giving one more weapon to someone who you know can use it against you.”

Moe’s brother, Rick, who also fights depression, ultimately dies by suicide. This leads Moe to struggle not only with his illness but also with guilt over his brother’s death. Moe’s grief for his brother convinces him to abandon his own thoughts of suicide and renews his determination to manage his illness and to work toward de-stigmatizing depression so others do not feel so alone and isolated. 

Battling depression is a lifelong process. Permitting those who face this debilitating illness to open up without fear of derision, dismissiveness, or condensation is one tiny step forward for sufferers. Moe’s story, which is groundbreaking and fearless, is an important undertaking, helping the reader understand more about depression, bittersweet hilarity and all.

Graphic by Doug Dobey