Getting Baked: This Christmas

by Fayeruz Regan 12.2022

Steam on the windows. The scent of warm sugar. A Christmas Story on the TV. When I bake for the holidays, I am all in.

This season has always been a dichotomy of cheerful and stressful. Christmas music seems mocking when played in a store where the checkout line is  fifteen customers deep. Everyone knows that smiling toddlers on Santa’s lap often involves tears and bribery.

As parents of a young child, we are keenly aware of how fleeting “Christmas magic” is. There’s pressure to have everything perfect, so that their childhood memories will be trapped in amber. That was my experience, and only now do I realize how my parents hustled. Add to this the time crunch of social obligations, and the pressure only builds.

I’m not saying society wants us to be stressed out. But it does feel expected of us. I refuse to succumb to it. Just like I refused when planning my wedding. The word “Bridezilla” was bandied about, women would try to commiserate on how hard it was, but I shut out the noise. I was planning the biggest party of my life, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

I try to do the same for Christmas. I refuse to slip in holiday baking after work, or between weekend obligations. I clear my schedule, slow down, and go full Hallmark. The halls are decked, Vince Guaraldi is on the stereo, and I am awash in a cloud of flour and dunes of sugar.

I suggest that if you are going to bake for the holidays, go all in. Dress comfortably. Wear an apron, but also something that will inevitably get dusted with flour. Lick the spoon, sample everything, don’t count the calories. Get stuck in front of the TV for a little while to see Ralphie almost shoot his eye out. Time doesn’t matter today.

And by all means, make the crowd-pleasing Aristocrat Popcorn Balls. It requires zero baking, cooks in minutes, and is deliciously addictive.

Aristocrat Popcorn Balls

Ingredients:

  • 13 cups of salted, popcorn (pop one huge pot, and snack on anything left over)

  • 1/4 cup salted butter

  • Additional butter to coat a 9”x13" pan

  • 1/2 cup chocolate chips

  • 3/4 cup of smooth peanut butter

Instructions:

  • Butter the 9”x13" pan and set aside

  • Melt 1/4 cup butter in a large pot

  • Add 10 oz marshmallows to the butter, and keep stirring

  • Once it's melted, stir in peanut butter

  • Once the peanut butter is melted, pour all the popcorn into the pot.

  • Stir vigorously – it’s a workout because the mixture becomes very thick!

  • Very quickly, stir in chocolate chips and remove from heat before fully melted. If they melt, it’s not the end of the world – it just makes the snack more visually interesting.

  • Press contents of the pot into the buttered tray

  • Press flat with a spatula and allow to cool, then cut into squares.

  • Optional: While they’re cooling off, you can mold them into balls. This is more visually appealing but involves a bit of muscle work.

These will keep in an airtight container for 4-5 days before becoming a bit hard and stale. But I’m pretty sure they won’t last that long.

I’m also a fan of Italian wedding cookies, peppermint bark, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and coconut bars. When I’m on a roll and the oven is warm, I bake until I start running out of things. You can’t stop the momentum, so you start substituting ingredients with coconut flakes or Fruity Pebbles.

Then, once all the treats have cooled to room temperature on my dining table, I line tins with wax paper and fill them with cheer. Something worth noting is that certain spices are strong enough to spread across the entire tin, dominating the flavor of every other treat in the package. Anything mint-flavored, pumpkin-spice flavored, or treats containing anise seed (like biscotti) will penetrate everything else, so keep them individually wrapped or in a separate package. No one wants to bite into a minty pumpkin spice cookie.

If you think you’ve made too much, think again. We see people in our daily lives and never know what they are privately going through. A thoughtful tin of homemade goods will brighten their day. Teachers, assistants, your favorite barista – anyone who makes your day a little sweeter would be touched to have some sweetness in return. Happy holidays.