King William and the Emperor’s New Clothes

by Fayeruz Regan 09.2022

When you find out there’s a place called Zebulon’s Grotto, you go to Zebulon’s Grotto. Just forty miles outside of Richmond, this clothing-optional, LGBTQ-friendly oasis exists for anyone who wants to shed all the layers and unwind—proverbially, and literally. 

Owner Charles Snead is a landscape architect, and his strong, lean frame is a testament to his working the land himself. It’s in his blood; his father worked alongside the famed Charles Gillette, known for beautifying Richmond via projects such as Agecroft Hall and the University of Richmond. In fact, when Gillette discovered that his colleague was having a baby, he joked, “You should name him after me.” And so he was.

Charles purchased the property 25 years ago, admiring the slow-growth nature of the area. In 2018, he received his permit to open business, and it quickly became a haven for Virginians, and people far beyond. “Our visitors come from all walks of life, but I would say our typical guests have high-pressure jobs. We have politicians, lawyers – people who really need to unwind.”  Zebulon’s Grotto has become a destination for travelers up and down the Eastern Seaboard. New Yorkers en route to Miami, or Californians who stop over after a work trip to D.C..

As Charles guided me around the property, I was stuck by how it was at once rugged and extravagant. The lake is ringed by wildflowers and gazebos. Slate pavers lead guests around the property. The “glamping” tents are set up on platforms, with fresh linens, a covered deck, and television. Beside the saltwater pool is a hot tub topped by a metal cupola, strung with Moroccan lanterns. 

Though Charles’s dream has become a reality, Zebulon’s Grotto is being threatened by a few vocal neighbors. When Snead planned to expand his on-site services at a Planning Commission meeting, an Uno reverse card was pulled. The Commission not only denied his expansion plans, but neighbors showed up to complain about the resort, aiming to revoke all of his permits. 

Luckily, there were more supporters than detractors at this meeting, with some coming from as far as Connecticut. Military veterans spoke up for Zebulon’s Grotto, explaining how the serenity of the resort helps their PTSD. Yet, neighbors had free rein to go beyond their allotted time, spouting religious testimony to sabotage this free enterprise—an enterprise that pays the county $157,000 in annual tax revenue.

When I asked if the attack was legal, Charles explained, “King William is known as a complaint-driven county. A lot of people here don’t like change, or outsiders. There are no breweries, wineries, and there’s only one wedding venue.”

Before even meeting Charles, I knew neighbors were an issue. The tiny house next to the resort’s gate had a spindly wooden cross nailed to its door. A 12-foot-high cross was erected in the yard. Like the Esmeralda character in Edward Scissorhands, these religious zealots claim to be repulsed by the differences between themselves and their neighbors, yet their actions border on obsession. 

One flew a camera drone over the private property, and was charged with trespassing. When they tried to appeal, they were charged again. Others cut holes in the hedges in order to peer through. One neighbor went so far as to disguise her van as a FedEx truck. With a camera facing out of the windshield, they plowed past the parking lot into the RV area, before people noticed that the trespasser was in scrubs, and had faked the decals. I wonder about what they were hoping to see. 

Currently, Charles is swaddled with red tape surrounding his expansion. He was cited for zoning violations, but kept the receipts. It turns out that he paid multiple visits to the zoning administration. The high turnover had him dealing with three to four different officers, all of whom provided inconsistent feedback. He has permits for a bed and breakfast, tent camping area, and recreation area. Apparently, a “campground permit” differs from his “tent camping area” permit, forcing him to fork over $1,000 to the board of zoning appeals, and ride out the months-long delays that come with the county. 

I can’t stop the thought that one sharp attorney could to turn this ship around. It would make a hell of a Netflix series. 

We’re constantly hit with buzzwords telling us to “support local,” but this goes beyond. It’s black-owned, LGBTQ-friendly, and doesn’t associate nudity with shame. Virginia needs pioneers that challenge fear and ignorance, because they provide a sense of identity and belonging to so many. Places like Zebulon’s Grotto are what makes Central Virginia a cultural destination. And it gives us guts. 

ZebulonsGrotto.com

281 Roane Oak Tr, King William, VA 23086

804-240-7823